Eternal Doubts About The Bible

If you’ve been reading any of my previous posts you may have noticed that whilst I am most definitely a Christian, I don’t exactly find it an easy journey (‘journey’ – bleurgh! That word has been ruined for everyone by X-Factor. Thanks, television).

Does anyone have a faith that they don’t question? I’m half envious, and half disparaging about those that don’t prod, pick at, question and analyse. What’s the source? Who said? How can that be true?? Etc etc . . .

I seem to be cursed with a spiritual longing for God, but the inability to surrender to it completely. At any given time I am roughly 85% believer, 15% doubter, but that fluctuates depending on circumstances, some of them as trivial as pondering ‘does God REALLY love Nigel Farage/Jordan/Jeremy Kyle as much as me?? (I know, I know, arrogant, don’t shoot me).

My faith isn’t challenged by questioning the validity of the resurrection or the virgin birth. I enjoy grappling with apologetics issues such as how a loving God can allow suffering (much longer discussion than I can bash out here). I’m an over thinker. That’s what I do.

My main bone of contention is . . .the Bible. More specifically, whether we can trust the Bible and how literally to take the stories it contains. How do we reconcile the apparent contradictions that don’t match up with what we know about science?

The gospels are, quite frankly, the best reading material that will ever grace your bedside table, but if you doubt one bit, doesn’t the whole thing unravel?

I’ve been pondering this sort of thing since Primary School (I went to a Catholic school so was well versed in all the Bible stories from school R.E lessons). At circa six years old I remember asking my dad roughly the following questions:

Me: “Daaaaaad”

Dad: (Puts newspaper down patiently in the version in my head) “Yes?”

Me: (Probably butchering my Barbie’s hair do) “So you know how the universe was created in the Big Bang?”

Dad: “Yes . . .”

Me: “And you know how the earth took billions of years to form and animals took millions of years to evolve until we got to humans?”

Dad: (Still patiently) “Yes . . . .”

Me: (Getting to the point) “Well then how can THAT be true, and also the story of the Garden of Eden and God creating Adam and Eve be true at the same time?? That just doesn’t make sense!”

I don’t want to imply that I was precocious or anything . . . ‘Gifted” “intelligent” and “ahead of her time” are words you COULD use to describe me, but I’m not going to put words in your mouth.

I do know these questions caused me spiritual agonies at age six, and that I’ve been experiencing existential doubts ever since, like a miniature Woody Allen in a dress.

Such queries caused me to gradually become an atheist around age thirteen. And then at twenty six I started investigating the whole ‘church shebang’, and found there was enough there to make me believe in God again. It was a fairly long and winding ‘journey’. ← Heh! Said it again.

Most of the time, when I come across passages in Scripture that trouble me, if I do some research and digging on that there internet, then I find answers that, if not resolve the matter, at least offer plausible explanations. But not always.

SO - I’m thinking of reading my way through the Bible in a year, researching any areas that I struggle with, and blogging about it for anyone that’s interested, no matter what the results may be.

Always fancied reading the whole Bible? Always meant to investigate those weird bits that don’t make sense but somehow never got round to doing it? Let me do it for you! You can sit back, make yourself a cup of tea, and benefit from my existential battles.

It’s pretty servant hearted of me when you think about it . . . .

ANYWAY! More to come when I’ve a wee gander at what’s involved and got myself a reading rota and a study guide sorted.

In the interim, do any of you struggle to believe in parts of the Bible? Do you take it all literally?  And which bits specifically do you find difficult?