Everything Matters - My Dishwasher Calling

We all want our lives to matter.

If I had to state who my ‘god’ was before Christianity, I’d say it was the god of experience. All hail Experience: the god of the last century, the god of the western world. Without belief in a higher power, this life becomes all there is and we are answerable to no one. We’re all charged with the mission of wringing as much out of our limited time as we possibly can – the most success, the most travel, the most partying, relationships, fun and gratification – all documented on Facebook and published to our peers.

Making the most of the time we have is not a bad thing in itself – I still want to travel more, live abroad, write a children’s book and learn another language. But as Christians, one of the biggest allures is that suddenly we’re called to something more than just entertaining ourselves for the duration of our lifespan.

The phrase ‘God has a plan for your life’ is one that is bandied about frequently amongst the church, and is a hugely exciting concept. God has a plan for my life? God wants to use me? This idea of working for something greater than yourself and making a difference in the world is the perfect counterpoint to the self-fulfilment quest of modern, secular living.

I prayed often to God about what my purpose might be, and then one day I thought I’d heard suddenly that I should go to art college – so clearly, like the thought came from outside me and invaded my head. It felt wonderful – as someone who doesn’t get many ‘words from God’, it was the first time I felt personally that God actually cared enough to speak to me, and knew me better than I knew myself.

Not related to text - a cafetiere cosy I made!

I invested a lot of time, hard work and money into completing my Foundation in Fine Art (a prerequisite for an art degree) at Central Saint Martin’s. I was accepted onto my chosen degree course. So my disappointment was overwhelming when not only did all my applications for funding get turned down, but just as I decided I’d have to defer and earn my tuition fees, the government announced that they were tripling fees to £9,000 a year. Well, that was pretty definitive - there was no way I could ever save £27,000 even in ten years. Unless God pulled something amazing out of the bag, this career path was no longer an option for me.

I bought a lottery ticket just in case God was testing my faith. Thinking that only strippers could earn that kind of money, I vaguely considered whether I could give that a go, then realised that, moral issues aside, I’d have to lose 30lb, and master some dance moves a bit sexier than my standard Running Man and ‘Thunderbird Arms’. NOPE. The doors were firmly shut in my face just as I’d gathered some forward momentum.

I was furious and disappointed with God – I can feel the frustration anew just writing this! Moreover, the worst disappointment was realising that God had never spoken to me at all and had never answered my prayer for clarity. To be honest, I still don’t understand the whys or wherefores of that saga, or whether I was a total flippin' numpty to take such a leap of faith, just trusting that God would smooth out all the details.

After a week of lying in bed watching box sets and wondering what on earth I was going to do now, I found a temp job that turned permanent, which was lucky, because I was in no state to sell myself in job interviews and it at least allowed me to pay the bills. 

 Struggling not to be beaten, I tried really hard to find the good in the situation – maybe God was using this time to build my character. Maybe his plan was just delayed. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

I decided to try and serve God however I could, wherever I found myself to be. Now, my office already has a lot of Christians competing to bring in baked goods for the team and share their ministry work stories. We even have a prayer group, for goodness sake! The only think I could think of was the smallest task imaginable – the dishwasher. I could load the dishwasher to serve the people in my workplace.

The idea exists within Christianity that if you serve faithfully in the small things, God will come to trust you with bigger things. Man, I loaded that dishwasher. I loaded the hell out of that dishwasher. I didn’t even tell people why I was doing it! (Erm, apart from on this blog right now, to lots of people).

But here’s the rub – it took too long. It felt like a pretty pointless task – it wasn’t like people were coming up to me going “Wow, you are SO willing to serve us, where does that desire come from and who is this person Jesus of whom you speak?” Half the time people weren’t even SEEING ME load the dishwasher, and of course, serving is pretty unrewarding if no one is there to tell you how amazing and good-hearted you are . . .

I think this might be one of the Christian’s worst fears: A really dull calling.

Most of us are willing to pack up and fly to Guatemala and live in a tent whilst we plant a church. We’re eager to jet off to Cambodia to combat human trafficking and fight injustice. But what if God’s plan for us is to serve the people around us by . . . . making them cups of tea? What if it’s a lifetime of boredom just for a few minutes of conversation that helps one person?

I really struggle with that. I want volcanoes and revivals and miracles, and the glory of God evident in my life.

To illustrate how I try and come to terms with this prospect, I shall turn to that classic of artistic film making, the rom-com-dance movie ‘Shall We Dance’ (Shut up. Meaning can be found in the weirdest of places). This is a quote from one of the main characters, played by Susan Sarandon, on why people want to get married:

"We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet* ... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things ... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness'."

This is exactly what God offers. That all the boring, unseen, seemingly meaningless stuff that you do every day WILL be noticed, and God will be your witness. That it matters. That EVERYTHING matters.

Who knew that a brew of Tetley’s could be an instrument of the divine?

So – for now at least – if you want a dishwasher loading, I am your girl. If you need a cup of tea, I will MAKE THE SHIZZ out of that cup of tea. Just don’t ask me for fruit tea. I don’t approve of fruity teas.

*When was this made? I think we’re at 6 billion, right?