Welcome to Faith Monkey!

Hello, hello, hello and welcome to my blog!

So I'm new to this blogging malarkey, and anyone who knows me in the slightest will be aware that I have all the technological skill of a blueberry scone. Computers freeze in my presence. I'm not entirely sure what a router does, apart from that it somehow 'makes the internet happen'. My iPod is basically a tiny magic box that music comes out of, for which I'm very grateful. So if you're reading this, please bear with me whilst I play around with the format and work out how to make it look pretty.

So . . . what the world REALLY needs is another blogger, right?? Um, probably not. So why am I starting this? I'm glad you asked. The answer is twofold:

1. I am a frustrated worker bee, trying to turn myself into a beautiful creative Queen Bee. Like many bloggers, I do a 9-5 office job which, although I know I'm very lucky to have, and work with some truly lovely people, does not exactly make me feel like I'm fulfilling my calling in life (I'm still working out exactly what that means). This blog is an excellent opportunity for me to indulge my creative pretensions.

2. I became a Christian 6 years ago at the age of 26, and to be honest I am a bit crap at this whole evangalising thing. There's tons of stuff I'm interested in that doesn't revolve around church and Christianity, but this belief system is basically the foundation of my life and affects how I view the world. It's hard to work it into every day conversation, and tbh I'm also wary of becoming a Bible thumping bore. So on this blog I get to write about my thoughts and opinions, how I see things, in a non direct manner which people are free to either take or leave as they see fit. Some of it may be more serious, some of it a bit more silly. It doesn't mean that faith is ALL I'll talk about, but it will probably sneak in there fairly often. (Incidentally, when I mentioned to my boss that I was thinking of starting a blog, he told me to avoid anything potentially controversial, like religion and politics. This may prove difficult . . . ).

So, I guess I should begin! Here goes:

 

The Christian Dictionary for Beginners

One of the things that amuses me the most about becoming Christian is that it seems there’s a culture of jargon that I just can’t bring myself to adopt. In the same way that the business world produced ‘Bullshit Bingo’ (don’t even get me started on the word ‘synergy’) there’s a little lexicon of vocab that invariably comes up regularly in Christian conversation. Here’s a little summary of the words and phrases that make me cringe a little inwardly:

Edifying: I kinda know where they’re going with this one, and there really isn’t any other word you can use to get across the same meaning, but it’s used SO commonly as short hand to describe anything ‘good’. E.g. that new book I'm reading is really edifying (i.e. wholesome, no sex or violence, builds you up and makes you feel good afterwards).

Godly: Another short hand often used to indicate someone or something is automatically good. E.g. It’s ok to fancy that person because they’re really godly (i.e. very visibly active in the church) or “How was you weekend”? “It was great, I just wanted to have a really Godly time, you know”?

Unpack: Used in theological discussions A LOT to mean expanding on the original point and going into further detail. I.e. “Let’s unpack that statement”. Technically there’s no reason why anyone of any belief system can’t use this, but I’ve only ever heard it in Christian circles. See also ‘Coming in to land’.

Coming in to land: Used in sermons to indicate that we’re nearing the conclusion, folks.

A heart for: Possibly the most overused phrase of all. This is meant to mean a particular cause, passion or pastime that God has called you to serve Him in. But it seems to have become synonymous with having enthusiasm for, or just being ‘kinda into’ something. In Christian circles you don’t just say “I’m really into Drum n’ Bass” or “I really want to live in Paris” (hey, me too!). You say “I have a real heart for Drum n’ Bass” or “I really feel that God has put it on my heart that I’m to live in Paris”.

I'm sure there's tons more that I've forgotten here, but these are the basics you'll need to make yourself sound like you know what you're talking about in Christian conversation.

P.S. I've just had a work colleague express surprise at my starting a blog: "I didn't think anyone did blogs anymore. Are you going to join Twitter in ten years time too"?
I DID say that I am a bit technologically challenged . . .