Bible In A Year - T-Minus A Couple Of Days

I'm slightly concerned that I might have bitten off more than I can chew with this Bible In A Year thing (and any of my family members will tell you that I can cram a lot of chocolate biscuits in my mouth in one go so chewing isn't usually a problem for me).

Lucas Cranach, Adam and Eve, Courtauld.

I haven't even started the Bible In A Year project yet, and already I'm running into problems. To read through the entirety of scripture in a year works out at around three verses chapters a day, but just scanning through Day 1 it struck me that I may not be able to resolve the questions it raises in a single day (or even a lifetime). Admittedly, Day 1 is a pretty full on day, scripture wise . . .  Genesis 1-3 are the verses chapters that cover God creating the earth, which throws up some PRETTY MAJOR questions for someone like myself, who buys into evolution and old earth theory (incidentally, I've read several articles lately that criticise writers who capitalise words as being morons, to which I articulately say: SUCK IT! I love capitalising words - it releases pent up frustration).

The project hasn't even begun yet, and already I feel like I've encountered a disconnect between my head and my heart.

Yesterday was one of those beautiful autumn days when London is at its best (although you wouldn't know it by the pouring rain and grey skies outside today). The sun was shining pale watercolour gold but it was chilly enough to wrap up in a scarf, and after busing it to my old neighbourhood to get my hair cut, I was sat in my favourite coffee shop stirring sugar into a cappuccino. This cafe is stuffed full of old wooden furniture and copper pots and pans, none of the chairs match, plants hang drying from the ceiling, and I had a new book open that had arrived from Amazon that morning in nifty brown cardboard packaging. I also, over optimistically, had my current knitting project in my bag in case I had 'spare time'. I got over any self consciousness about whipping out wool and knitting needles in public ages ago, and now like to think that it gives me some eccentric hipster credentials, when really it probably just marks me out as a weirdo spinster in the making - but I am OK with that. It really couldn't have got much better.

I sat contentedly (if I could've purred, I would have) thinking about several different options of places to live next, and offered up a quick prayer to God that he would help me make the right choice. As I did so, I realised how wonderful it was to go through life with God there with me, to guide me, speak to me, to love me (although it's possible my feeling of well-being was due to the caffeine. I have, on occasion, been in church revelling in how joyous and full of the Holy Spirit I feel, only to reflect that it may actually be the double cappuccino I scarfed back before worship kicking in).

My point being - I feel like God is with me, my heart tells me it's so.
But verses chapters like Genesis jar me alarmingly, like wheels skidding when the brakes are put on too fast. I wonder if my heart can be trusted, when logic and reason make it seem as though parts of the Bible are just comforting stories.

My research so far has not been massively helpful - most of the articles on the Internet I've found are from alarmingly fundamentalist creationists, who work from the assumption that the Bible is always true, and fit science and world views accordingly. Not really useful to me right now . . . The upshot is that I've decided to give myself a little longer than a day to work on these particular verses - read a bit, pray a bit, see if any answers present themselves. I'm also going to read the Bible chronologically, not in the modern trendy fashion of 'a bit from the Old Testament, a bit from the New Testament, a proverb and a psalm'. I understand that this new approach makes it easier to digest, or, as a friend put it, "like hiding your vegetables under the meat", but personally I want to read it in the order that it happened.

So - here goes. I'll be back in a couple of days when my study guides comes through from Amazon (sadly less excited about these than my usual orders. My priorities suck). Yikes.

Eternal Doubts About The Bible

If you’ve been reading any of my previous posts you may have noticed that whilst I am most definitely a Christian, I don’t exactly find it an easy journey (‘journey’ – bleurgh! That word has been ruined for everyone by X-Factor. Thanks, television).

Does anyone have a faith that they don’t question? I’m half envious, and half disparaging about those that don’t prod, pick at, question and analyse. What’s the source? Who said? How can that be true?? Etc etc . . .

I seem to be cursed with a spiritual longing for God, but the inability to surrender to it completely. At any given time I am roughly 85% believer, 15% doubter, but that fluctuates depending on circumstances, some of them as trivial as pondering ‘does God REALLY love Nigel Farage/Jordan/Jeremy Kyle as much as me?? (I know, I know, arrogant, don’t shoot me).

My faith isn’t challenged by questioning the validity of the resurrection or the virgin birth. I enjoy grappling with apologetics issues such as how a loving God can allow suffering (much longer discussion than I can bash out here). I’m an over thinker. That’s what I do.

My main bone of contention is . . .the Bible. More specifically, whether we can trust the Bible and how literally to take the stories it contains. How do we reconcile the apparent contradictions that don’t match up with what we know about science?

The gospels are, quite frankly, the best reading material that will ever grace your bedside table, but if you doubt one bit, doesn’t the whole thing unravel?

I’ve been pondering this sort of thing since Primary School (I went to a Catholic school so was well versed in all the Bible stories from school R.E lessons). At circa six years old I remember asking my dad roughly the following questions:

Me: “Daaaaaad”

Dad: (Puts newspaper down patiently in the version in my head) “Yes?”

Me: (Probably butchering my Barbie’s hair do) “So you know how the universe was created in the Big Bang?”

Dad: “Yes . . .”

Me: “And you know how the earth took billions of years to form and animals took millions of years to evolve until we got to humans?”

Dad: (Still patiently) “Yes . . . .”

Me: (Getting to the point) “Well then how can THAT be true, and also the story of the Garden of Eden and God creating Adam and Eve be true at the same time?? That just doesn’t make sense!”

I don’t want to imply that I was precocious or anything . . . ‘Gifted” “intelligent” and “ahead of her time” are words you COULD use to describe me, but I’m not going to put words in your mouth.

I do know these questions caused me spiritual agonies at age six, and that I’ve been experiencing existential doubts ever since, like a miniature Woody Allen in a dress.

Such queries caused me to gradually become an atheist around age thirteen. And then at twenty six I started investigating the whole ‘church shebang’, and found there was enough there to make me believe in God again. It was a fairly long and winding ‘journey’. ← Heh! Said it again.

Most of the time, when I come across passages in Scripture that trouble me, if I do some research and digging on that there internet, then I find answers that, if not resolve the matter, at least offer plausible explanations. But not always.

SO - I’m thinking of reading my way through the Bible in a year, researching any areas that I struggle with, and blogging about it for anyone that’s interested, no matter what the results may be.

Always fancied reading the whole Bible? Always meant to investigate those weird bits that don’t make sense but somehow never got round to doing it? Let me do it for you! You can sit back, make yourself a cup of tea, and benefit from my existential battles.

It’s pretty servant hearted of me when you think about it . . . .

ANYWAY! More to come when I’ve a wee gander at what’s involved and got myself a reading rota and a study guide sorted.

In the interim, do any of you struggle to believe in parts of the Bible? Do you take it all literally?  And which bits specifically do you find difficult?